How I was reminded of "half of the population"

I had not been giving many thoughts on the gender equality lately. I thought there were more pressing social issues in our society such as poverty and its associated problems—poor access to food, primary education and basic health care. And I started thinking gender equality was a luxury problem in developed countries like U.S and the western world.

Recently, I was in a remote small town with a work assignment in which we interviewed the township level government officials from various departments and had group discussions with township development committees, community authorities and civil society organizations. All those people we met were in some sort of leadership positions in the town and respective communities, and they were ALL MEN except for the township education officer being a woman.

Even though I have always considered myself a feminist since back to the days I could remember myself, shockingly, I was quite comfortable with witnessing that patriarchal structure in that town. Until the moment came when we asked a question- "half of the population is not represented in your committee, meaning 'women'. Should they not be involved actively?" it hit me quite hard.

Hearing the answers from male leaders was even more painful. They said, "There's no such rule as women cannot participate in the committee. But to be a member, one has to be a respectable and educated member of community with leadership skills. And we do not have such women."

I could not imagine for a woman in a village to join a village authority group, which has always been a "boy club", and to speak up for the issues specific to women in the community.

If the poverty is a pressing issue, in a society in which half of the population doesn't have a voice, that poverty would hurt even harsher on the vulnerable half— 50% of population is NOT negligible in any sense— and the way out of poverty would be harder.

What can you and I do about it?

I think it is not entirely hopeless even for women in the rural communities. As much as I was shocked about myself being oblivious about the matter, I also found hope. One of the men in the group said, "if women are well-educated like you (referring to me), they could of course involve more actively in development projects of the community."

It is hopeful because even though I was the only woman in those discussion groups, even if a few of those men felt that they should encourage their daughter/sister/wife to be more educated and become active members and leaders of their community, it would be a progress. And the same time, I felt that women like us should be more in touch with men and women at the community level.

And we also need help of our brothers, fathers, husbands, male colleagues, male friends and leaders. If we want to see the progress of our society and do not care about "half of the population", what would we care about?

Power of Exercise

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"Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."— Rumi

About a month ago, I signed up 
for a half marathon.  I wanted a little bit of challenge plus a good reason to wake up early and do a regular exercise. 


Today, I finished my second week of training! I knew running/exercising 5 days a week would be pretty tough (almost impossible) since I work 10-12 hours a day ( plus 2 hours drive), and I work on Saturdays and holidays occasionally. I could only go to the gym 2 times a week the most past few months.

As I'm usually exhausted just by working, I wasn't very sure how I could add an exercise to my tight schedule and tiring days. But I decided to add it anyway thinking I would at least try. To fit an hour of exercise to my schedule, I get up 6 am to hit the gym for a run and a bit of workout. That was a bit dramatic change I had to make since I had a hard time getting up at 7:20.

I did have almost regular exercise when I lived in New York but I couldn't really tell how it affected my overall wellbeing. And I did not have a serious and demanding job like I have now so my life in NY was fun and happy no matter what.

I have read and heard about how exercise is good for you. But now, I can feel and tell the difference from my own experience—exercise has been bringing great things to my daily life. Here is what I want to share:

1. I enjoy the tranquility of a new day.
Starting the day early in the morning has been refreshing. It is the only time I get to see calmness of Yangon without heavy traffic. That tranquility gives me an extra boost to tackle my long day ahead with full energy.

2. Exercise improves mind control.
I did not have to make an effort to enjoy running when I ran by the East River in NY, because I just loved it. But here, I have to make conscious efforts to overcome the mental discomforts.

Every time I start running on the treadmill, I cannot wait to get it over with. I don't like the discomfort in the first 5 minutes of run. The first few minutes are always the hardest since my body gets suddenly interrupted with fast movements.

I've been realizing that my mental reaction to the discomfort and tiredness is much more unbearable than the real physical discomfort. The moment I start overcoming my mental reaction and start enjoying the steps, I am much more comfortable with the whole movements.

And I think I'm getting better each time with the mind control and effort.

3. I feel accomplished.
I'm sure everyone agrees to feeling positive at the end of hard workout or running session. I don't exactly know what the science is inside my body after the workout. But, mentally, I feel really really great at the end of each run or exercise.

My mood usually starts out with 'Oh I have to do this again." ...."Oh my god it's not even one third of my goal distance". I keep looking at the screen of my treadmill and counting every second and every .01 km change. ( Yeah I know I'm mental.) Then slowly, my mood gets improved with the effort I mentioned above. At the end, I feel so accomplished "Oh god, I DID IT!" It's priceless.

4. I feel positive.
It was way easier to be optimistic when living in NY. It is a place where your dreams come true; all the great energies and positivities of its people are circulating in that city.

From where I live now and what I'm learning through findings from my social research and also seeing things around, it has been challenging for me to stay positive and optimistic.

I know it might sound exaggerating but when you could overcome some small things and difficulties — even discomfort of exercise — you start feeling much more hopeful. You feel that you CAN DO it, and you can overcome challenges, just one step at a time, and accomplish many more great things!

The Struggle with Learning to Be Selfless

I want to live serving others or so I thought—even if it is as smallest thing as reducing the selfishness within me. That's what I have decided to live for and thought it's meaningful.

It all sounds good and it has made me feel good about myself or feel significant for my insignificant existence in this world.

To put my intentions into actions, I made a deliberate and conscious choice to become a social researcher at a research firm. I believed I needed to learn about people at grassroots level if I want to help the majority, the underprivileged.

I've been exposed to overwhelming amount of information, facts, narratives of common people in my country.

I've been really overwhelmed knowing about their struggles for simple basic things like water and food. However, the most shocking thing is not how poor they are or how so few choices they have—it is the fact that nothing is new.

I have read and seen those things in other parts of the world or different times in the history.

Lets look at the world we are living. We are living in a world where the wealth of top 85 equals the poorest half of the world; masses are being ripped off opportunities or being systematically enslaved by their choices being limited; the society is enormously stratified; we are reading news about shooting innocent children in schools,gang raping, cooperate exploitation.

All those crimes and injustice have happened over and over throughout the history. Only the context is different depending on the situations surrounding that particular era. The very basic human nature is the same—the will to power and the hunger for more.

I sometimes wonder if the humanity is doomed, and if it's worth fighting for a losing battle.

When I look at myself, I'm still not very sure if I want to serve others because I want it from the bottom of my heart or, it merely comes from this egoistic hunger for more, a desire to believe that I'm better as "I" live for a noble cause.

As much as I want to deny it with all my power, the latter seems to be true.

I have no way of knowing until circumstances come for me to make choices that are against my self interests. It is much easier for me to think about the ideals while I don't really have any big moral challenges or forces that could push me against.

It is quite comforting to intellectualize about how the world should be than really changing the world.

But, when there is a chance, do I have the courage to fight against all the forces that are against me? Am I gonna be frail at some point? Am I gonna get tired of trying? Or is it really meaningful at all fighting a losing battle?

Then I saw this:
"Naive, dreaming Adam. He who would do battle with the many-headed hydra of human nature must pay a world of pain & his family must pay it along with him! & only as you gasp your dying breath shall you understand, your life amounted to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean!"

"Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?"
- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Maybe one drop is nothing in a limitless ocean. But those rare few people who believe in an ocean filled with a multitude of drops are ones who give so many of us hope. Every time we are hungry, thirsty, lonely, sick, hurt, or broken, it is their act of kindness and love, and their conscious and consistent effort to heal all these wounded souls that makes a huge difference to us.

Maybe we should join them so they don't feel that the whole universe is against them.

A Tiny Bit of Change that Counts

I tend to procrastinate more often than I like. The longer I procrastinate, the bigger the task becomes, and the more I get afraid to start doing anything about it. Many of those little things get accumulated. I get overwhelmed and stressed, and eventually, I get depressed for not being able to do anything.

I also easily get upset about things that are completely out of my control. That makes me lose sight of things that I can actually do - small things like getting up 5 minutes earlier or 5 minute exercise.

I have been "thinking'' about meditating for a couple of weeks but it's not been happening. I know it's good especially when I get easily overwhelmed. Whenever I think about meditating, I get distracted about one thing or the other. I want to read one more article, check something on internet or facebook or emails.

Eventually today, I decided to just drag myself to meditate.

But, ONE thing I did it differently this time is that I told myself, "I will do it as long as I can, even if it is 5 minutes." The reason I've been avoiding to meditate is that I wanted to do it at least 40 minutes. So it never happened.

I still set up the alarm for one hour but I thought I would stop any time before the alarm.

In the beginning of the sitting, I definitely had a lot going on in my head. So many thoughts come and go. But later, I found myself becoming calm and the thoughts started fading. Slowly, I was more centered.

Then, what made me surprised was that the alarm rang! So it was a FULL HOUR! I felt really really great that I did a whole full hour of meditation while I only expected to do 5 minutes to 20 minutes.

After that, I finished a project within 2 hours, which I've been procrastinating to do it since five days ago.

So as the saying goes, a thousand mile journey does start with one tiny step.

Challenge of Understanding the Other Side

This weekend, I watched a movie, "300: Rise of an Empire" at the theater. We left in the middle of the movie. It was cliche, the usual war between good and evil. And predictably, the Persians were portrayed as devils using black magic to cheat the war against the alliance of Greek city-states.

I learned that there is a recent controversy in Iran about how Hollywood portrays Persians in the movies. It makes me question about a lot of things, both current and past, we know in this popular culture and how much of our knowledge and understanding is close to the truth.

When I thought about Myanmar history, it's all about history of kings, and rise and fall of kingdoms and empires. I never came across the accounts of common people in those times, and what they truly thought of the king and the events of those times. And the historian who wrote and recorded the account of the king's era was likely to be under the service of that king. So definitely, he wouldn't dare to say anything bad about that despot and his actions.

I went to a liberal arts college in the U.S. where we learned different range of disciplines covering science, social science and humanities. I really enjoyed it because classes were mostly about exploring, analyzing, discussing and debating issues rather than trying to come to absolute right or wrong answers. But still, all of my five political science classes, we dismissed communism easily. We didn't discuss much about it. We didn't try to understand the arguments communism makes even though it was the ideology that challenged the world once.

When I first read the article on xojane about the Duke porn star, like many others', my reaction was pretty strong and very judgmental of her. I refused to really understand what she was talking about because I had prejudice against sex on the camera. I couldn't try to understand the argument because of the stigma we often associate with sex. But, I obsessively followed so many articles about her - both arguments on pros and cons. I struggled for a long time, asked myself so many questions and made various arguments about feminism vs female sexuality, issues about sex workers and morality. What she did good was opening up the dialogue about our views on sex workers and speaking up for those sex workers who have been long silenced due to the social stigma.

It is much easier to portray history, ideologies and people in black and white, or good and evil. Many of us are guilty of falling into stereotype/generalization traps. But in reality, people are very complex, and historical events and ideologies that result from actions and understandings of these people are likely to be quite paradoxical as well.

That's why a wise friend once said that, "there are three sides of the story - my side, your side and the truth."

In the attempt to show various sides of the story, "Game of Thrones", both book and TV series, is pretty good. I get to see the events from perspectives of different people - nuances of each person's actions and their struggle to be wise and honorable in various occasions. Some characters who you consider just and honorable could also do something unwise. Some dishonorable person is also capable of doing something really noble and wise.

Sometimes, I get really frustrated wondering, "Am I ever gonna "fully" understand something or someone, even myself in this lifetime? Or Should I just give up trying to understand at all?" I guess what matters is openness - openness to listen to other opinions that are opposed to mine and to engage in dialogues, even if it's sometimes difficult and uncomfortable. I'm not going to be fully successful in it. But, I think it's good knowing that I tried and made some progress.

Photo Credit: actstraining

How Inequality Affects All of Us

When I lived in New York, it was so hard to choose. Out of the countless different things the city offered, I could never decide where to eat, what to do, who to see.

Since moving back to my home country — Myanmar — I have seen how the majority of people here have very little choice at all. They’re simply struggling to get their daily meals. It’s one thing to read about poverty and hunger, but it’s another to see the faces of hunger-pained people right in front of me.

I could have easily been another poor kid on the streets, but I happened to be born into a family who could afford to send me to good schools and provide me with a comfortable life. I was born into a situation which allowed me to grab opportunities, pursue life goals, and chase my dreams.

I’m haunted by this.

A few weeks ago, inequality and injustice took on solid numbers that have gone viral, shocking everyone. According to the 2014 Oxfam Report, the top 85 richest people in the world have more wealth than the poorest half of the global population. 

(Take the entire population of Canada and multiply it by roughly 20 and a half. Those 700 million people would have less money than a random group of 17 individuals. That’s the kind of gargantuan inequality we’re talking about here.)

Oxfam also points out that this inequality is growing due to “power grabs’’ by wealthy elites who buy out political systems...Continue Reading on Converge Magazine 

40 Days of Fear

In one of the episodes of Game of Thrones, Ned Stark said: “A man can only be brave when he’s afraid.’’ This shattered my world a little. I used to think you’re brave only when you’re not afraid to do anything.

The one thing I don’t like about being an adult is that I’ve become full of fear. I think too much before I do something, I rationalize possible failures, rejections and pains. I long for the days of my childhood, when I lived fearlessly, without constantly thinking about what could potentially go wrong.

Right now I’m actually living a long time dream of mine: running my own business. I had put off doing it for a long time. I told myself I needed more education, more experience, more time, more savings (just in case I completely screwed myself over) and a “specific” business plan.  

But the main factor that prevented me from becoming an entrepreneur was my own fear and doubt that I could even do it at all.

The idea of running my own business was idealistic to say the least. (Consider all the freedom and control I would have! Imagine doing something I love! And how much of an impact I can have!)

But being an entrepreneur means living with ambiguity, facing challenges regularly, having very little idea as to whether I will succeed or not...Continue on Converge Magazine.

Can Men and Women be friends?

In a famous film “When Harry met Sally’’, Harry asserts, “Men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.’’ I never really cared to ask why men are so wired into focusing on women’s physical appearance. I just accepted that’s how men are.

Recently, I was waiting at a saloon to cut 9’’ of my long hair in order to donate it to cancer patients. All the women at the saloon say my hair looks very beautiful, and also guys like such beautiful long hair. Even though I was determined to let go of that long hair for something I believe a great cause, I was trembled at the thought of not being attractive to opposite sex.

I realized how I put so much value on my look than who I am inside; how I’m reducing myself to a physical object of desire. Then I told myself, “I’m doing what I care about. If someone doesn’t like me because of how I look without trying to get to know who I am, I don’t like him either.’’ It’s quite empowering to feel adequate – just to be me, not an object.

I’m forever grateful to my mother for this.  When I was little whenever people said, “The boy (my brother) is much better looking than the girl,’’ my mom always encouraged me that look is not important. She taught me timeless values other than look –  intelligence, integrity, kindness etc. These values have given me a core sense of self to resist the external pressure on the look.

However, in the society today, a woman’s worth is heavily tied to her look and her physical appeal to men. A lot of intelligent girls dress up, play cute and dumb to attract the opposite sex. Fashion and cosmetic industries thrive on selling the idea that women are inadequate without the help of their “products” that can approximate and facilitate their self-defined physical ideals and sexual appeals. That’s also how I’ve always justified whenever I buy unnecessary clothing, “I will look great on this. This is totally worth it.’’

I recently saw this video on Upworthy.  I realize this sexual objectification of women is all around us.  It’s even more shocking to find out that I myself have been accepting this. One time, I accidentally ran into two male friends conversation about a female friend as a total sexual object. I was pretty shocked especially because one of them is my friend who I consider a very respectful gentleman. I confronted him and he defended, “That’s how guys talk.’’ I talked to another male friend and he said the same. I just accepted it at that.

In the future, I won’t accept it. I will confront any man who treats and talks women as sexual objects. I will remind any woman including myself that we are whole human beings to be treated with respect. We all have mothers, wives, sisters, daughters and friends, who are vulnerable to being treated as sexual objects. We should encourage our brothers, sons, husbands, boyfriends and friends to respect women and to be aware of sexual objectification of women.

It would be a very critical step to save many women from gender discrimination, unnecessary heartbreaks, sexual assaults, sex trafficking and all other abuses. I say this confidently because when I start seeing and respecting animals as living beings with a will to live, I no longer want to eat them and be cruel to them directly or indirectly, and I will keep trying my best.

So I disagree with Harry. Men and women CAN be friends if and when men start seeing women as people, not sexual objects.

Multiplying Positive Habits

"We first make our habits, then our habits make us.'' - John Dryden

I've loved meats and never thought about becoming a vegetarian. I used to get annoyed when eating out with vegetarians or friends who eat meat to the minimum.

Last year June, I went to a ten day meditation retreat that only served vegetarian meals. I was also told that the reason behind is to support our wholesome actions with wholesome habits during that period. Surprisingly, I was completely fine and enjoyed every meal. I was even happy that not eating meats helps keeping some animals from suffering.

After I came out from that retreat, I continued not eating meats until I moved back home. Once I got back, there was food that I'd been missing and couldn't resist meats in it. So I went back to my normal habit just eating whatever that's available.

Recently, my brother talked about interest in becoming a vegetarian after his conversation with a friend. So we started discussing about 'factory farming', googling those pictures of factory farming, watching a documentary 'farm to fridge', and learning about the book Eating Animals. Not to mention helping the environment. (Animals raised for food eat enough grain to feed the world.) He went as far as doing a photography project about meat markets and meat industry here. I accompanied him when he went to meat markets and slaughterhouses. It really was horrifying to see animals' sufferings and how they are treated as commodities.

I decided to try becoming a vegetarian. I said 'try' because I really am not sure how long I can keep up with this. I know myself how many times I have failed doing something I thought I "should''.

I will still eat meats if I get too agitated not eating or it'll be a burden for others to make vegetarian food/meal for me.

Since I decided to stop eating meats, I have paid more attention to my eating habit. I try to eat more nutritiously adding more vegetables, fruits, beans, whole grains etc. Since I've been eating healthy, I wanted to add exercise to my routine.

I feel really great and positive doing exercise for a month. Then, I wanted to get up early to exercise. Morning run or workout has been lovely- I love seeing the sunrise, hearing the birds signing and breathing the fresh air. I've picked up a habit of making healthy breakfast that energizes and prepares me to begin the day.

Since I'm up early, I usually have extra time so I spend time reading a real book (not browsing internet) over a cup of coffee. I still have extra time so I meditate for half hour, which really clears my mind. I've got all these things done before I start working at 9 am.

I normally need 6-7 hours of sleep. To rise early at 6:30, I go to bed early around 10:30 with my kindle so I can read an hour before I fall asleep. (I stopped the habit of bringing the computer to my bed browsing the internet.)

It's been so wonderful to begin and end the day. With all these great habits influencing each other, it'll be hard to quit being a vegetarian. Even if I did give into my temptation, it'll be a good reminder that my morality is not that strong...

Why I love traveling

I have always loved traveling. But why I love it now is different from why I did in the past.
In the past, I loved it because:
1. I got to escape from boring routine and reality of life - school and work and other mundane things.
2. I got a chance to see totally exotic things and experience cool adventure like walking around the streets of Paris, getting lost in Venice, ziplining across beautiful rain forests and mountains of Costa Rica.

When I lived in the U.S., everyone around me was so optimistic. I followed some news just so to keep myself ''informed''. When I saw bad news somewhere outside the U.S., I just shrugged ''Thank God, I'm grateful for having a good life.''

Now, since I moved back here to my home country, I started realizing how little I know and understand about the world around me, and how much I'm out of touch with lives of others around. I began to see struggles of most people just to get daily meals. Reading about the poverty and hunger is one thing, seeing right in front of my eyes is the other. I learned how little understanding I had about issues that are bigger than me. Then I decided to approach travel differently, not just vacationing to have fun and relaxation any more.

Here are main reasons why I love traveling now.

1. It's a good reminder that I'm incomplete.

In this information age, we get access to news all over the world very instantly and see pictures of many parts of the world. It often leads me to this delusion - I know just enough. But it's when I travel, I realize how little I know, how incomplete I am. It's an uncomfortable truth but it's something I often need to be reminded of.

2. It makes me more human.

In daily lives, I just let things pass me by and don't notice much. When I travel, I notice things and people more. I felt bad and uncomfortable when some people look at me as their superior or serving me instead of treating me equally as their fellow human being. It made me really sad to see the kids waiting to eat my leftover meal. I found it hard to resist when a poor street vendor begs me to make her very first sale. The experience softens my heart and makes me learn to care more.

3. It pushes me out of my comfort zone.

I live in a fairly comfortable life. But when I travel, I often have very limited options due to limited resources - money and time. So I often push myself to make the most of it, take some risks and face some fears. One time, I got up at 5 am to see the sunrise over the grand canyon, hiked half day into the canyons and drove myself 8 hours to Los Angeles, all of it in the same day! I learned to make a camp fire (not as easy as I thought).  My friend and I tagged along with a random stranger across the bay in Costa Rica to experience a promising paradise. ( It was indeed a paradise and the most memorable part of our trip!) I jumped into deep water regardless of my fear. I did rock climbing and found myself afraid when nothing to grab or step to move up. The experience of taking risks and facing fears comes in handy when I'm challenged in my real life.

4. It makes me live in the moment.

Well, there is enough teaching out there about living in the moment. In reality, it's hard. I either get caught up in the past or too concerned with the future. But, when I travel, I am completely in the moment, the most I will care is what to do the next day. There is nothing more joyful than living in the very moment. It makes me aware of myself more and things outside at the present. Even if I find ugly things about me and situations outside, I learned the present is much more closer to the truth.

5. Nature inspires me.

When traveling, I get to be in touch with nature. Taoism says nature inspires us because the nature is very strong. It's true. I get exhilarated and refreshed to see ranges of enormous mountains, endless sea and sky, and deep green forests. All these structures in nature are very strong unlike me. I often get weakened, toppled, insecure every time I am criticized, afraid or rejected. 

It takes extremely strong wind or forest fires or man-made equipment to impact a significant change on the nature. Well, human beings are destroying our own planet but still the planet is quite strong and beautiful.

All these reasons make me love traveling more. I want to travel far and wide whenever I get a chance...