A Tiny Bit of Change that Counts

I tend to procrastinate more often than I like. The longer I procrastinate, the bigger the task becomes, and the more I get afraid to start doing anything about it. Many of those little things get accumulated. I get overwhelmed and stressed, and eventually, I get depressed for not being able to do anything.

I also easily get upset about things that are completely out of my control. That makes me lose sight of things that I can actually do - small things like getting up 5 minutes earlier or 5 minute exercise.

I have been "thinking'' about meditating for a couple of weeks but it's not been happening. I know it's good especially when I get easily overwhelmed. Whenever I think about meditating, I get distracted about one thing or the other. I want to read one more article, check something on internet or facebook or emails.

Eventually today, I decided to just drag myself to meditate.

But, ONE thing I did it differently this time is that I told myself, "I will do it as long as I can, even if it is 5 minutes." The reason I've been avoiding to meditate is that I wanted to do it at least 40 minutes. So it never happened.

I still set up the alarm for one hour but I thought I would stop any time before the alarm.

In the beginning of the sitting, I definitely had a lot going on in my head. So many thoughts come and go. But later, I found myself becoming calm and the thoughts started fading. Slowly, I was more centered.

Then, what made me surprised was that the alarm rang! So it was a FULL HOUR! I felt really really great that I did a whole full hour of meditation while I only expected to do 5 minutes to 20 minutes.

After that, I finished a project within 2 hours, which I've been procrastinating to do it since five days ago.

So as the saying goes, a thousand mile journey does start with one tiny step.