I often wonder why a lot of women went to Ivy league and other top schools, are very capable and well accomplished, and later happily gave up their careers or are willing to give up when they decided to raise a family. I don't have any problem with their choices but some of them already knew that all they want in life is having a family and raising children and still went thru all the normal life process of going to college, getting a career and all that.
I'm an economist so I am always concerned about how well resources are being utilized to gain the maximum efficiency. :) In U.S, going to a top college/university is quite expensive- someone has to pay that cost ( your parents, the school itself, government or/and other organizations). All these people and society invest in you - whether they expect you or not, I think it is fair for you to give something back to your community and society utilizing that education, knowledge and experience. I often feel that it's so wasteful for the society that those capable women are staying home and raising children.
Most importantly, those top institutions are highly selective and when they select a portion of those candidates who are going to be just stay-at-home moms one day, they miss to give the opportunities to others who are highly devoted to make a difference in the world. While I'm thinking about this, I came across this old article in NY Times about women setting career path to motherhood. The thing is that I respect very much of people's freedom of choice as long as their choice does not hurt other people. In this case, I think it does hurt other people because of the above reason - taking away opportunities from some other people.
The article said admissions officers are not likely to ask applicants whether they plan to become stay-at-home moms. But I think they really should. That way they will fully maximize society's best interests and save some resources from being wasted.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Living life to the fullest
To live fully in the moment is in a way to live your life to the fullest. As tomorrow is uncertain, it is very important for me to make the most out of today.
I have been busiest ever past two weeks. Sometimes, I wish I could divide myself to three four persons to be fully involved with everything I want to; or I could get 2 or 3 extra hours each day. I try myself to be most efficient with limited time I have. From Mon-Fri, I leave home 7 am and get back home after 10pm. And my weekends are packed with catching up with friends and doing schoolwork.
My priorities come in this order:
1. School
I'm taking 3 courses- Advanced Accounting, Auditing and Marketing. For Advanced Acctg, I got the professor which is best known for giving LOADs of work for students. I'm already suffering from that. As expected, Auditing is quite interesting - that's where I can fully apply my major strength catching irregularities and mistakes based on my own judgment.
Marketing is quite fun as well. I really like the professor- she seems very confident and enthusiastic with the subject.
2.Work
I'm working almost full-time- 36 hours. I am actually liking it a lot. I really like the people I work with, ( they like me a lot as well). There are so many new things for me to learn and have been acquiring new and hidden skills :) I didn't know myself well how much of people-person I was until now. As I love FOOD, hearing about it and working for it have been quite fascinating for me :) I've been communicating a lot with many people and solving a lot of problems each and everyday.
3.Job Search
To become a CPA (Chartered Public Accountant), I need to work as a public accountant. Meanwhile, I have been attending school career events to network with professionals and my fellow schoolmates. This whole process of gathering information, talking to people, building relationships and all these take a lot of my time and energy as well. Just two days ago, I did something I thought I could never do! At the PWC info session, I asked a question with a microphone in front of 200+ people. I was nervous but I DID it!!
4.Socializing
Yes, I'm taking almost full-time course load and almost working full-time.But I still make time for my friends. Socializing is very important for me as not only I enjoy seeing my friends but also I love meeting new people every now and then.
5.Staying healthy
With all these things filled up my day/night, I have been sleeping less and less than my usual 5-6 hrs a night. But I still have lots of energy and barely feel tired. I do get tired sometimes. So I have been trying to eat healthier, which I never cared before. I eat more vegetables, meat, cereals, nuts and fruits, and less carbs. I drink more water. As I work in an organic food company, I always get so much information about which food and drinks have what and how they affect your body etc. I have been keeping up with swimming, at least once a week. I have not been running for a while though. I find swimming more refreshing and relaxing than running. I guess it's b/c of the water.
I am very busy but I feel so great as I feel that I've been doing A LOT and being quite productive. My best friend from college visited me and he was quite amazed with how efficient and energetic I am :)
I have been busiest ever past two weeks. Sometimes, I wish I could divide myself to three four persons to be fully involved with everything I want to; or I could get 2 or 3 extra hours each day. I try myself to be most efficient with limited time I have. From Mon-Fri, I leave home 7 am and get back home after 10pm. And my weekends are packed with catching up with friends and doing schoolwork.
My priorities come in this order:
1. School
I'm taking 3 courses- Advanced Accounting, Auditing and Marketing. For Advanced Acctg, I got the professor which is best known for giving LOADs of work for students. I'm already suffering from that. As expected, Auditing is quite interesting - that's where I can fully apply my major strength catching irregularities and mistakes based on my own judgment.
Marketing is quite fun as well. I really like the professor- she seems very confident and enthusiastic with the subject.
2.Work
I'm working almost full-time- 36 hours. I am actually liking it a lot. I really like the people I work with, ( they like me a lot as well). There are so many new things for me to learn and have been acquiring new and hidden skills :) I didn't know myself well how much of people-person I was until now. As I love FOOD, hearing about it and working for it have been quite fascinating for me :) I've been communicating a lot with many people and solving a lot of problems each and everyday.
3.Job Search
To become a CPA (Chartered Public Accountant), I need to work as a public accountant. Meanwhile, I have been attending school career events to network with professionals and my fellow schoolmates. This whole process of gathering information, talking to people, building relationships and all these take a lot of my time and energy as well. Just two days ago, I did something I thought I could never do! At the PWC info session, I asked a question with a microphone in front of 200+ people. I was nervous but I DID it!!
4.Socializing
Yes, I'm taking almost full-time course load and almost working full-time.But I still make time for my friends. Socializing is very important for me as not only I enjoy seeing my friends but also I love meeting new people every now and then.
5.Staying healthy
With all these things filled up my day/night, I have been sleeping less and less than my usual 5-6 hrs a night. But I still have lots of energy and barely feel tired. I do get tired sometimes. So I have been trying to eat healthier, which I never cared before. I eat more vegetables, meat, cereals, nuts and fruits, and less carbs. I drink more water. As I work in an organic food company, I always get so much information about which food and drinks have what and how they affect your body etc. I have been keeping up with swimming, at least once a week. I have not been running for a while though. I find swimming more refreshing and relaxing than running. I guess it's b/c of the water.
I am very busy but I feel so great as I feel that I've been doing A LOT and being quite productive. My best friend from college visited me and he was quite amazed with how efficient and energetic I am :)
The Idea of "FOREVER"
Last weekend, I asked my mom the same question I asked her over 10 years ago - "Don't you ever get tired of being with the same person for more than 30 years?" She just laughed at me because she thinks I'm crazy to think that way. I asked because I got tired of being with the same person after 'three' years.
My friend, J, always accuses me that I'm afraid of commitment. But he, who is apparently all about commitment and serious relationship, got baffled when his gf asked him to move in. In my case, it's not the fear of commitment; it's rather dislike of boredom, distrust in fantasy-like romance and love of freedom.
During my senior year in college, I met this most intelligent and knowledgeable man I've ever known for his age. I thought I fell in love with him and we became a couple almost instantly. He was my human-wikipedia and he gave me lots of freedom! With everything else in my life, I got tired after all the new things had gone in our relationship. I became concerned that ''Is it gonna be forever?" Then I started looking for the exit.
All my close friends and family concluded that it is because I was not in love. But this 'falling in love' business seems so vague and fantasy-like. I just think most people love themselves and want the other person to fulfill their need for security, emotional support and companionship. Then they just accept whatever that is and stick with it forever. Consequently, I think it is a possible misery forever!
For me, I am almost always happy and feel pretty fulfilled with my life. I don't need external support to feel happy. However, on the other hand, the idealist version of me believes that there could be this one or more persons ( depending on your chances of meeting people) can ADD a lot to your life in so many ways. Without making a lot of efforts, that person(s) understands you and your values, respects you and has faith in you as the best person you can be, and is attracted to you intellectually, emotionally and physically. This is more like the best friend with physical attraction.
That's why I think the only way you can be completely happy "forever'' and not get tired after a few years is when you are in love with your best friend.
My friend, J, always accuses me that I'm afraid of commitment. But he, who is apparently all about commitment and serious relationship, got baffled when his gf asked him to move in. In my case, it's not the fear of commitment; it's rather dislike of boredom, distrust in fantasy-like romance and love of freedom.
During my senior year in college, I met this most intelligent and knowledgeable man I've ever known for his age. I thought I fell in love with him and we became a couple almost instantly. He was my human-wikipedia and he gave me lots of freedom! With everything else in my life, I got tired after all the new things had gone in our relationship. I became concerned that ''Is it gonna be forever?" Then I started looking for the exit.
All my close friends and family concluded that it is because I was not in love. But this 'falling in love' business seems so vague and fantasy-like. I just think most people love themselves and want the other person to fulfill their need for security, emotional support and companionship. Then they just accept whatever that is and stick with it forever. Consequently, I think it is a possible misery forever!
For me, I am almost always happy and feel pretty fulfilled with my life. I don't need external support to feel happy. However, on the other hand, the idealist version of me believes that there could be this one or more persons ( depending on your chances of meeting people) can ADD a lot to your life in so many ways. Without making a lot of efforts, that person(s) understands you and your values, respects you and has faith in you as the best person you can be, and is attracted to you intellectually, emotionally and physically. This is more like the best friend with physical attraction.
That's why I think the only way you can be completely happy "forever'' and not get tired after a few years is when you are in love with your best friend.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Varying Needs of Space
Buddha's image here is in the temple of Manuha Pagoda in Bagan,Myanmar. King Manuha, Emperor of Mon, was brought to Bagan after he lost the war with Myanmar Emperor. He was provided with a small palace in Bagan with a few people to serve him. One day, with the permission of Myanmar Emperor, he built a temple called "Manuha Temple''. Inside the temple, there were full of Buddha images confined by walls in all sides. When finished, Myanmar Emperor visited the temple and felt offended and very angry with Manuha, who was in fact his prisoner of war. Myanmar Emperor considered himself as a very lenient Buddhist King who was generous and kind to his prisoner. But he overlooked the fact that Manuha himself was also once an Emperor who ruled a big land with absolute power. He failed to understand that the small palace he provided Manuha as a very confined space for an Emperor.
People have varying needs of space, physical, intellectual and emotional. I am sometimes surprised by how people have very little control over their life. We are all confined in small little space either by our own choice or other people in our life or other external factors. Most of the time, we think we have no choice - 'oh that's just life'.
All my life, I have been fighting for the space and control over my life that I need. My mom said even when I was a little bit over one year old, I was always waiting for the time the door will open. Once the door was open to receive the guest, she said I sneaked in and ran outside like crazy fast. When I was 17, I brought up the idea of pursuing education in the U.S to my dad. He was so against the idea and couldn't even imagine letting the young little daughter go to the other side of the world where she had no one she knew. We fought and we argued for several days. He was finally convinced by my arguments, and not only that he was very supportive in the end.
Although I love my family, I have been so happy with all the freedom and space I have got with my life since I left home. My parents asked me to come back home several times and promised that they would give me all the freedom I need. But even if that's the case, I still think that Burmese people are prisoners in our own country. I love the fact that life here has so many options. Even if I don't get a chance to try all those options, knowing that there are lots of options and having control over my destiny is just enough to make me a happier person.
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