Battles In My Life

I still love this saying "Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors." But once in every while, the sailor gets tired and frustrated when he feels that there is little chance to survive or constant rough sea just makes him physically tired.

All my life, I always have to fight hard to get something I want. I'm not sure if it's because I always want something that's a little out of my reach or I'm just always not so lucky to get something easily? I have had my parents in panic mood since I was born. The birth itself was very difficult. Then throughout my childhood, I was struggling with one illness or the other.

I was always in some kind of competition throughout my basic education schools. There were so many tough competitions. I did win so many prizes though - one of the top 3 students in class all the time ,won many essay competitions and passed my matriculation with top 30 in the whole country. I got into medical school but I did not want to become a doctor and wanted to come to U.S. against my family.

After going through a lot of pain, emotionally and intellectually, I got into one of the best liberal arts colleges with full-financial aid. Those two years trying to get into school here was one of the darkest and hardest times. People constantly were asking me what I was doing with my life instead of going to Med school. It was really hard to learn English. My family was not financially able to afford a good school in the U.S.

I was struggling a lot in College as well trying to be a decent college student. But still it was very hard to study in another language. My English was really bad and still not as good as I want it to be. I'm still trying to get it better. Well at least I did manage to survive college life and made a lot of great friends.

Now I'm in another phase again. I'm struggling again to find my way and have a promising career and the same time, I want to please my parents. My parents don't want the same thing I want. They want me to settle down and marry a Burmese man. For me, I still want to explore and live free and marry only when I find true love. I have been debating a lot with my father about this. It seems like one of us will never be happy or maybe even both of us will never be happy.

I come to understand more and more that life is always about making difficult choices. It could never be perfect. Even Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg must still have things they are missing they want. However, I still don't want to give up trying to make it better or make the best out of what I have.....Deep inside me, I still believe in good things and those good things happen to good people when you have strong will and don't stop trying.